Sunset Standing Up

The sun ahead starts setting down into the horizon casting shadows on anything that crosses its path.

I lift up my head and stare at it while his majestic ride comes closer to its end. My hands move through my hair. The work day is over and sitting in the bench I wonder what happened to me?

Life seemed so promising in a close past and now I stand on a cliff of life staring at life's toughness.

Before my eyes my dreams shatter leaving space for a raw and sour dreamless and so called realistic reality, however reality seems far from enjoyable more like moments to bare. The blowing wind brings me the repetitive whisper of all those persons who said reality was like that, such a grayscale picture. My mouth dries and my sight blurs as my eyes get slightly wet.

Then I feel a thin blanket of cold wind wrap around my skin as I see the world I should jump into and realize that I’m standing alone near the edge, all by myself staring at the abyss, so close to the final point of letting go.

I turn back and through my shoulder I see the distant images of my earlier years when my hope was high and my dreams were big, when I had a trampoline as my standing ground. Then I look down at my feet and realize the thin paper layout about to break that serves me as my base. My heart starts beating rapidly as I realize that its soon to break and turn my world upside down pushing me to be swallowed by the dark abyss of the unknown sure to face the crashing down into the ground as I fall into what they call reality.

No space for dreams and wishes, just a jungle of survive. No dreams of love, of friendship, of laughs, of giggles, of fun or good times. That’s the reality that I should stand into, as I realize so, strength abandons my body slowly as I feel the time coming closer to the breaking point. My arms feel weak and my legs unwilling but the real cold comes out of my heart which seems to freeze from within in a space of no future joy, love or shine.

Suddenly a soft light whisper comes to me, barely able to listen to it I make an effort to see where it’s coming from and I notice nothing. Stressed and close to give up I fall on my knees and hear it once more, softly calling from within me, a soft voice repeating all my dreams, whispering softly into my heart. I wipe my tears away and take my stand strong and secure.

That might be the world everyone see but it’s not the one I want, I know better, so there will be better. I shut my eyes and take a secure step into nowhere sure that I’ll land on my feet and stand up into the world I want to live, the way I want to see it, not the way other people see it. If life was magical so far, it will still be and so it shall remain, because love and magic comes from within our hearts, the spark lies within us to make a moment sparkle with magic. And so with that spark I shall transform the world I land on because my dreams are shared by other people and I will not let the rest of the world tell us that we believe in something wrong, just because we don’t think the same way they do.

As I  realize so, I feel a fresh breeze caress my face as I sit on the bench on the street, my steps are beginning towards the land I must be in, so I take a deep breath and start walking back home following the almost dying sun.

The Bus Ride

After climbing into the bus she started moving through the crowd of people and find a seat on the back of the bus. Pulling all her stuff carefully to not hit anyone she sat down on the plastic chair, having her earphones into her ears all the time. She looked into the front and stared away into deepness as the bus started moving on the route through the dark streets.

On a barely lit bus stop he waited for the transport to arrive and a few blocks away he saw the big structure making a stop. It was a cold night and he wanted to get quickly into the bus to put himself out of the winter cold. After a second stop, the bus made a quick stop before him where he went in. Just like any other day he moved through the tight bunch of people scanning the area for a place to sit when he saw her and her beautiful set of eyes glanced back in his direction. He tried to get by her side but he couldn’t move closer to her, fate had put him just there to see her but not allowed him to get near. Suddenly their sights made contact as they looked at each other and he realized there was something special in her, he could see the fire in her eyes, challenge sparkled in her look, determined and filled with passion her eyes bewitched him. 

While her soul dived into the tenderness of his sight, the depth of his stare, the comfort he made her feel the safety and calm. It was a relaxing and yet intense moment. They were moving into each other’s eyes, she felt herself sliding into his view with him and then she felt how both of them submerged within her own sight. Seconds became hours and days and suddenly they felt each other close, too close and started seeing a future with each other, together. The moment when they started living together and scenes of their day to day life started parading before their sights. It was a dream that wasn’t meant to end.

She stood up, her stop was close and moved towards the exit, though she was getting closer to him, and wondered if she was really moving to the exit or following her impulse to be with him, then the bus had a rough stop.

He could see her stumble as she lost balance right in front of him and stretch his hand to help her from falling. He then grabbed her and she hold his hand tight then recovered her stand.

She felt his strong grasp helping her up, holding her tight, grabbing her firmly and a shiver went from her hand all the way to her back and down her spine, she felt her heart beat went faster and she noticed how her breathing became rough noticeable as her chest rose and fell while she tried to catch her breath back.

He noticed a change in her breathing and her breasts bounced slightly faster, she got back up straight and fixed her hair leaving a delicious smell in the air in which he felt his senses numb and his mind blurred getting drunk in the girl's scent.

She looked back at the man who helped her there was fire in his eyes and his sight made her body react passionately as she was before him.

Then the time came and the bus opened his doors before the girl and noticed the familiar scenario. It was her stop. She walked out into the cold night feeling the man's touch through her skin still keeping that feeling through all her body as she walked out.

In the dark night the guy went away within the bus his senses still numbed by the girl's fragrance and in his mind keeping recorded the mark of the minute lasting lover that fate threw into his hand. Probably never to see her again but always to remind in a corner of his mind...

Hold Up Strong

There he is, finally, everything seemed perfect, but now the risk of losing everything invades you, life had presented herself so perfectly, so wonderfully, it was magical, every single moment together, it was out of a dream, and now it shall remain as a dream. 

No, it can’t happen, not like this, it has been a rough road for us both, and twist and turns were ahead of us, it’s just not what should happen, the fear of the end so near, grasping his feet, and you tied down, hands behind your back you can’t do nothing but have good faith and wait, wait for him to raise, to smile again, that smile that filled your heart with warmth, his spirit unbreakable as always his forehead rising up to the skies, walking again like nothing ever happened, everything is just so perfect, so wonderful and splendid.

Tears of fear mixed with the desire of hope are rolling down your cheek but you have to hold on, remain and stand for happiness and love, remain there for him, for he’s been strong when your soul crumbled and he picked every little piece from the floor and kept it safe for you, now it’s time for you to stand for him, to be there for him and to endure by his side the uncertainty because it’s a couple that is starting to happen, and finally the skies seemed to open for you both, a chance to find love and enjoy life in every little detail.

Dreams coming true seem to happen, right there, with you, and it’s time to embrace the grace and stand strong for the storm shall pass, letting the rays of happiness shine once more into your days, both of you, life shall be beautiful, the warmth of love and peace shall invade your souls once more, so you will strand up strong, holding his hand through this stormy weather, feeling his hard squeeze back letting you know that he is aware of you and he is not giving up either because he loves you, he does, and he never said it because it means a lot, but the time to realize it has come and now embracing the truth, that before all the adversities you will be by his side, he stares at you, no words needed, none used, but he’s telling you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

In the end there is calm and pray, you wish deeply that something happens to make things better, while steadily everything around shows you that at least he is still breathing…

About My Sister

This time I just want to make a little quick thought. I have a sister, I complain about her a third of the day, and I think about her half of the day. I smile in secret when I remember her. I wish all day I could hug her tightly one more time for a little longer.

She’s a great girl. Yeah, she has flaws too. 

She's not perfect I am well aware of that, however she is also quite gifted, she's got beauty and a golden heart to match, she's a rising star, I get to see her grow and blossom and it's a gift to be able to see that what she is turning into and the wonderful future that surely awaits her. Because she'll do anything she wants and I admire her before the world because she will stand up and shine all over the globe.

And I am thankful because she has shown me that anything is possible and made herself an example of dedication and focus that I deeply admire. She achieved all she wanted and made it possible, I’ve no doubts that she’ll realize all her dreams and I’ll see them come true, so that makes me admire her, then again …

… How could you not?

I guess after all the thinking I would not change her for the world; she can be annoying and bossy, but really sweet and loving and comprehending too. She’s smart and funny and wonderful. Many people are single kids nowadays, I got the blessing of having her by my side and we will always have each other.

We fight, of course we do. We are brothers, it’s like our duty. In public at least, because when we are alone we hang around wonderfully. She is my accomplice and unbreakable guardian of my secrets, Boredom is fun when we are together and dull becomes hilarious by her side. She makes me feel proud and at the same time pushes me to want to climb higher so I can be there for her.

She’s simply a gift, complex, fun, sweet, with everything as a pain and everything as a blessing; that’s how she is and she is wonderful like that. No changes needed.

I just want to say …

… I’m honored …

… I’m Proud …

… I’m lucky to be her brother …

… And …

…I love her

Spare A Moment

The soft wings of end caress everything, and now it’s time for them to wrap around this phase that just got its last song.

Deeply touched I know I look around and see the people that were by my side through all the toughness, people who helped me when I was drowning, who held my hand tightly so I could climb up again.

Laughs we shared will always echo through my mind within time and the mark of love that has been engraved in my heart by you will remain there until the end.

As it may seem, it looks like our paths have been separated, however you will always be with me, always deeply marked with me, and I will carry you whenever I go.

The time to say good bye has come and I pray to heavens that the time to say hello will come around soon for us. But now it’s my moment to part from this nest I’ve known. I don’t want to skip the moment, because you were important back then, you are important right now and you will be important in my life so I want to take the time to say thank you and good bye (for now).

For all those moments of crisis where you stood by my side, when I felt the sky falling down on me and the earth crumbling beneath my feet, yet you became a support to hold on to, I want to thank you.

Because I felt alone and helpless but you turned to my side and made me feel strong again, helped me dream high again, I want to thank you for being there.

I hold on to the hope that we will meet again, I gained so much by being with you, and you helped me grow to be a better me so for that I am so thankful. I trust that our paths will cross once more and I’ll be able to say thank you, for being there for me, because now I am here and I am me.

Thank you for being a part of me and for helping me when the world seemed to turn against me. It’s time to say good bye time to go on a different direction; the tears on my eyes are getting together. Our moments will never be erased from my mind, your closeness in every hug and those long talks we had making us get closer.

Thank you for being there back then.

Thank you for staying with me.

Thank you for being a part of me …

But I Messed Up ...

The words appeared, deep within there was hurt and pain, a glance back at that day’s events pushed a hint of guilt within my heart. I followed it. Did I acted rightfully? Things seemed pretty well, but at the same time I seemed to have messed it up. Ending up hurting someone i care for deeply. So deeply that i just couldn’t bare to have been careless to his feelings.

So i turned my back to the computer and went to the corner. It was a hot summer night and it felt like being within a sauna, small drops of sweat where growing on my forehead, not being able to figure out what to do after messing up. I pulled my legs closser and hugged them tightly i could feel the heat on my face and the drops falling slowly from my forehead onto my knees while i slowly went into the dark corner of myself.

Feeling alone, lost, confused and ashamed, after letting a friend down, someone special, leaving him behind, hours back it seemed like he wasn’t up for it, but i didn’t double checked. I should’ve though. My thoughts started hitting on me as i set sail through the dark waters of my own self. Realizing how terrible it feels when u hurt someone you care for so deeply.

Wanting to relieve the pain, the hurt that has been caused. However not knowing how, and feeling desperate within, while being stunned outside, being so far from each other that u can’t touch, and knowing that the willingness to make it right is just one sided.

Hurting someone you care and feeling a storm of regret blowing out of rage against yourself within you while feeling the sharp ice-cold sting of rejection when you try to reach for grasp to stick together. You realize there is no we, there’s you and me, separated.

Alone in the steamy dark night i think of you, i try the phone, it won’t let my call through. No answer from the computer either. I want to shout out how sorry i am for having hurt you, for making you feel like your are worthless when you are gold-worth to me. Feeling the growing frustration rise through my spine and boiling into my head, breathing gets harder as i keep on thinking about the situation and his hurt words bounce within my head, how i hurt him, how could i when he ment so much to me? But I did, when I wish I didn’t.

I pull my legs tighter and i hope he’ll forgive me one day and cut the ice cold space that lies between us now, once so close, and now seems like entire countries stand between us, though even if he was close to me he might not want to listen.

I am sorry, I didn’t meant to  hurt you, you are worth so much to me. Are some of the things I just want to tell him, I wish he could hear them and know how bad I feel. That he is a great guy and I’m not perfect, that I made a mistake and ended up hurting him, and hope he could forgive me for what I have done. Silently I start crying. I messed up by hurting a friend … All I had with him seems so far away and I just want to say from the depths of my heart how trully sorry I am …

If I Need Reasons ...

If I need reasons to say I LOVE YOU, I do …

Because since we meet my life took a different spin,

Because every time I get news bout you my heart stops,

‘Cause if they’re good joy fills my body and I’m a wrap of happiness,

‘Cause if they’re bad I wanna be by your side and help them pass through the rough moments.

Because the need to be pretty and gorgeous is not in me no more to feel that way,

‘Cause I know my voice sounds beautiful if you hear it,

‘Cause I know my looks have always something good to your eyes,

‘Cause perfect is a state of the natural soul, not of flawless look and crystal behavior.

Because time is just an opportunity to enjoy life,

‘Cause if we’re together it’s a couple moment to enjoy but it’s not my only joyful moment,

‘Cause if we’re not together life is worth living because people like that exist and I’ve understood that every moment is a unique chance to be happy.

Because I am not expecting a soft and easy life,

‘Cause when good times are for us, we will be happy,

‘Cause when fun knocks our door, we shall laugh,

‘Cause when rough times are ahead, we will stick together,

‘Cause when sadness wraps around us, we find comfort within,

‘Cause when we’re separated, we are complete on our own,

‘Cause when we’re together, we crystalize with each other.

Because I accept you as you are,

‘Cause perfection doesn’t exist naturally, but you are naturally the best I’ve had,

‘Cause I know we’re not eternal, but the moments with you are something worth living,

‘Cause you’re not the best looking around, but to me nobody matches up to you,

‘Cause you’re not the best singer around, but to me a song from your heart is heaven,

‘Cause you have flaws and they help me notice you’re a human,

‘Cause you have gifts and they help me notice how wonderful you are.

Because my life got a beating reason,

‘Cause you’re not the reason I live, however u helped me find many reasons to,

‘Cause couples come and go, however you’ve shown me a beautiful side of life,

‘Cause love is not suffering if our time ends, but to be thankful for the wonders we lived together,

‘Cause I sparkle when we’re together, not because of who you are, but because of the side of me I found while being with you.

If you need more reasons, please let me know, there are millions I could just write you down, but the main reason for me to love you is because I do, because I know you and I choose to love you.