Tears From The Warrior

[After a few months of break the blue feather pen, fills itself with ink and starts writing once more]

All my life I was prepared to be as a warrior, let us not say trained, but prepared mentally and emotionally. Let me just say that it turns you into a very efficient person and also very strong to endure pressure as risk situations or emotional stress. Yes. Those prepared as warriors are armed to become independent and turn out as winners in every competition that they face. It all sounds rather beautiful, powerful and desirable at some point.

However, let us know that as strong and ruthless a warrior may be, no matter how many acts of cruelty he has to plan and execute, no matter how ice cold his mind has turned, in the end they are all humans. Façades of metal and ice with hawk eyes that would see deep into sin and death and not linger, their souls freezing from all the hardening they have been forced to commit into their own selves.

Strong, aggressive, competitive, unstoppable and ruthless the warriors go out to hunt winnings and they conquer them but these ice masters with metal skins and icicles in their eyes, they end up breaking up now and then. That becomes their doom, their curse and their downfall, as for they have been raised to endure not to bend, so they shall stand and endure the coldest winter and the fiercest storm holding on and abide through all that, because that is how they were raised and there is no second path for them.

But once of them walked away, he walked far from sight and went high up into the mountain, seeking refuge within the thick forest, where nobody could see him because he knew that he was about to break down.

Strong and proud he used to walk through the sidewalks of the town, people would cross his path but move away, some were afraid, some saw him as a strange being, and very few saw the warrior within him, but in the end he walked alone, for that had been his path since he was a small kid. Back then he wished he could be part of the rest and have fun, but that was not allowed, he had to become a winner, he had to succeed above everyone else. And eventually he did, he stood above them all. But the top is a single player position and he was alone up high.

Back then the warrior realized he was alone and it hurt, the cold of the lonely winter hit him hard and made him shiver while the warrior saw those he had surpassed, they were laughing, they seemed happy even if he went above them and he was now on top, but he was on top and alone. So he tried to change, he tried to relate with other people, but they already saw him as a weird one. Then the warrior took of his armor and once again tried to be a soft cheerful person, but he was rejected once more and the spear of humiliation pierced through his chest and it remained there while he looked at them walk away with bright smiles in their careless faces.

He then got up and put his armor back on, but the spear was there and it wouldn’t come out. So the warrior went back on his journey fighting to be successful and winning most of the time, all that just to realize he was back alone at the top and to feel the chill of loneliness, because when they raise you to become a fighter and endure as a winner, they don’t teach you how to live with the emptiness in the heart. So the warrior tried once and again and again to bound to people just to find several spears piercing his body and each time he got up his eyes turned colder and his soul became bitterer. But people didn’t noticed.

So when he retired out into the mountain he did so, because he needed to shed a tear, he was looking for a place to remove his armor, a place where no spears would be sent to him, a place where he could bend and admit he was a human, a lonely sacred place where he could remember what the emotions were. Joy and happiness seemed so far away, but sadness was always hidden deep, very deep inside and shedding those tears made him remember that he was a human and once again he wished he was like those careless people, happy and joyful. But he faced the facts once more, he was alone and there was no sanctuary, nobody had took him and let him cry, he was sensitive and fragile, but he was forced to appear the other way around because when he appeared as the fragile man he was laughed at and humiliated and hurt.

So there he was, crying because people wouldn’t allow him to feel the warmth of love and the magic of joy, but facing that in the end people would just keep rejecting him and pushing him away, so this little sanctuary in the middle of the woods was his safe place where he could become human again and feel his scared heart as it was left by all those who carelessly threw their spears at him. They might’ve thought that it was nothing, but it meant something but they didn’t really cared, he was alone and he needed to be fragile again yet he longed someone to hold him and say that everything would be alright, someone to say that he would be protected, but no, he looked and faced the reality that forged him since he was a child. He was alone.

The Third Temple

The moon was already leaving the night sky when the silver car slowly parked next to the entry door, a young man slide out of the driver's seat and closed the door in the cold of the moment, with a steady step he moved forward to the door and opened it, then went back to the car and opened the door of the copilot and went half body inside, then he came out carrying a dark shape on both hands so he closed the door with his foot.

Once inside the house he went through the garden that still smelled fresh because of the breeze, when he arrived to the door of the house he managed to take the keys out of his pocket and opened the door to go inside the house, he slowly left what he was carrying in the couch and went back to close the door of the garden and then the main door of the house.

His feet flew upstairs and came back down while his hands carried a towel, he sat on the couch and placed the towel on his lap as he started pulling some hairs into the towel revealing the face of a young girl. He let out a sigh, when he remembered that he told her that it wasn't a good idea to go to that party, her eyes were closed, she was deep asleep and he  just kept drying her hair slowly. He shook his head and went back upstairs to come back with a blanket that he put over her body and let her rest there in the warmth.

A few moments later after he saw the peaceful face asleep he moved towards the kitchen and took out a bag of powder cocoa and placed a pot with milk on the oven. His tired feet moved towards the window as he stared at the ground in the garden, his mind was lost in the soil, so soft and gentle carefully and steady protecting the new growing nature, he let a slight sigh as he walked back to the kitchen and poured some of the soft cocoa power into the softly boiling milk, again with another scoop the tiny dust of chocolate elegantly covered the milk and mixed itself with the liquid.

The whole room was covered with the scent of the cocoa while it boiled with a low flame on the oven. He sat on a chair close to the fire and looking at the girl lying on the couch. She had called him a while ago, things didn't went as planned and she was left alone, so he went to collect her, a sigh went out of his chest, he was tired and sometimes he wished things could flow without him, however he knew that no matter how many times she called for him, he would always be there for her. Time would pass and they will always have each other, his baby sister lied there, asleep after crying out her hurt of being left alone by her friends, he was pissed, she wasn't perfect, but he didn't dared to see her suffer.

Through whatever sacrifice he had to go to make sure she still stay the happy girl he knew, he wouldn't doubt to put her happiness first, his heart jumped on his chest and he swallowed, it was difficult but after that, he got up and turned off the oven and poured the hot cocoa in two cups, the sun was starting to show out the door, he sighed and looked at his watch then switched his cup to a therm and walked to the couch, he kissed the forehead of the exhausted girl and then walked out of the house closing the door behind him.

He wished he could stay with her, but he had to work, he'll talk to her later though, he wished he could stay by her side all day long until he made sure she was okay, but he had to go so he walked out back into his car hoping she felt better when she woke up and had a day filled of smiles and happiness before her.

His greatest joy was listening to her laugh and seeing her smile, it was a piece of heaven on earth giving him peace of mind knowing she was happy and growing steady and joyful. Time went by and he wanted to see her become a fulfilled and happy girl, with nothing but smiles and laughs on her path, he'd give anything to see her peaceful, loved and happy. He barely told anyone how much he actually cared for her, but she was his little treasure on earth, the little piece of hope to whom bring a better day each morning he could, a silly face, a funny comment, a dumb act, all to see her smile once more before night came along.

The Fourth Temple

As a soft sigh the morning sea breeze caressed gently the white linen curtains that hardly covered the rising sun. Slowly the sun rays showered inside of a renaissance decorated room, revealing the delightful space to anyone who stared from the balcony.

A playful wind went inside the room making the curtains separate a little. The freshness barely reached the bed where three legs could be seen uncovered by the white cotton bed sheet, however another leg and the silhouette of two bodies had managed to stay hidden unlike the legs at the bottom and the cascade of brown hairs at the pillows.

Claire opened her eyes and kissed the sleeping lips beside her, once out of the bed her hands pulled her hair up and wrapped it in a ponytail, she then grabbed an oversize shirt and walked towards the balcony where stared at the sea not far away from where she was standing, she turned around and saw an even more dazzling scene before her eyes, her mind went on about all the things they've been through and her heart jumped when she realized what they had achieved together, the beautiful scene seemed hand painted before her eyes and gently covered by the morning sun and the ocean's freshness.

The canals of Venice were gracefully showered by the first rays of the sun and slowly the queen of the sea got all the color back into her buildings and all the joy and life that was characteristic of her were coming back into place, soon the vendors will start claiming St. Mark's square and the noise of the water taxis would mix with the people moving around inside the city. It wasn't that far away for the early tourists to start arriving and bring on all the gibberish mood to the city until sunset again, but for now the city remained still and quiet, majestic holding up high on the sea staring at the mighty sun rise from the wide seas as the sun itself will crown her ethereal beauty.

The cotton fabric felt fresh and soft against the skin and something warned out that there were eyes observing, so quickly after waking up and stretched out a pair of brown eyes started scanning the room to find the one that was supposed to be in bed, it didn't took long to meet the eyes of Claire who was holding a cup of coffee and looking back from the balcony as she slightly smiled. 

The smell of coffee and sea breeze inundated the whole room, for a moment the thought of just going back to bed seemed very appealing but it was time to get out for coffee and a pair of rose lips smiled back at Claire, not moving however out of the bed, after three deep breathes Isabelle grunt softly and slide off the bed, she went over to Claire's side.

After giving her a soft kiss, she snuggled by her side and stared at the Venetian morning and held Claire's hand. She was well aware that Claire was everything but perfect and yet all her imperfections seemed flawless and perfect into Isabelle's eyes, this wasn't going to last forever, and that made it so wonderful and magical that it could be marked into Isabelle's heart and soul and last through eternities, the deep happiness of being with Claire was simply delightful it was sharing life with all its imperfections together what made every little moment in life just perfect, wonderful and magical.

They stayed there resting at the door frame as both their souls went out dancing through St. Mark's square and running around joyfully through the bridges of Venice until they dove into the Adriatic sea and flowed together to eternity.

The Second Temple

The night had covered the city once more and the cold wind started blowing on the streets making her short dress dance between her legs as she moved our of her car. Slowly her legs rubbed against each other caressing the soft fabric of her dress that slide on her skin almost like liquid on her as she went pressing her heels against the shoes while walking next to the pyramid.

She turned to look at the sand before her, it looked like a dark ocean under the night sky, beyond the pyramid her eyes captured the face of the sphinx, she kept walking surrounded by the cold air that kept playing with her hair, lifting it up to the night and then letting it fall down caressing her skin as it fell.

Her shoes sound was soft and practically non existing in the dark of the night. After a few moments she was inside of the pyramid and quickly she moved through the corridors and stood before the entrance of the chamber she was looking for and finally had reached.

Her heels felt the ground trembling and her heart started beating faster, her face however remained still and calm, only a soft smile appeared on her lips, her eyes sparked while her sight drifted within the dark room looking into the red looking smoke that seemed to wrap the place, then she took a deep breath and walked into the room.

That night The LAX was the nightclub to be in all of Las Vegas, the whole place was covered with candles on the walls and hanging from the celling, it was a dark place, and there was smoke constantly pouring into the room. She walked into the crowd and felt the bodies bounce against her, and soon she got lost inside of the smoky dance floor feeling the altered beat of a song from Muse beating in the air and into her pores, intoxicating her senses from within.

The rhythm moved the everyone in the space like a wave, slowly and constantly, the bodies were pressed against each other and suddenly she spotted the figure of a man walking into the floor from the bar, her eyes meet his and she started moving her hips towards him melting through the sea of people between them. They finally reached other as the toxic beat of Closer from Nine Inch Nails rumbled in the room.

She pressed herself against him and started moving her fingers quickly and softly through his shirt, pulling him closer to her, his scent excited her and her desire grew. His hands grabbed her waist and pulled her to him the space between them was non-existing and she started kissing his neck in the closeness.

Slowly her tongue went up through his neck tasting his skin, his sweat and into his lips, her hands pulled his head down to her as their lips met in a hot and wet embrace, she pulled back first as both of them panted for air, then turned around on him his hands still on her waist, she stretched out and grabbed the back of the neck of the man.

They were on a dark and smoked corner next to one of the speakers and the sick beats of Physical from Nine Inch Nails gave her the tempo on which to move her hips against his pressing their bodies close, she could feel her back covered in sweat and the drops of his sweat falling from his wet hair and his chin into her shoulders.

The fight between them was just starting, she felt his hands moving from her waist up to her breast and felt as if all the fire of the room was within her own body, a soft moan escaped his throat and she could feel him hot and his hardening manhood closer to her. It was time.

She took his hand and both of them dive into the pool of human bodies to slide away next to the bar, their sweaty and warm bodies went through the small corridor that was next to the bar entry, she pushed the black door and they were out into a small alley, in the cold night she pressed her self against him while she unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it away while eagerly kissing his lips repetitively, his hands were holding her hips tightly to him as her body rambled on his firm chest.

She kicked away her heels, even with the door closed, the noise from the club still reached them, then she bit his chest moving down into his abs, she pressed her hand on his legs and then put one on his crotch firmly caressing it as she slid back up and devoured his lips once more. The desire burned inside of her as she felt his hands pulling up her dress and her hands quickly unzipped his pants.

A fierce look flamed within her eyes. Her fingers went inside the opened zipper, she kissed and sucked on his neck, a moan went out of the man's throat. Both of them seem to be consuming in fire, their passionate bodies driven by desire. The spark of lust burning between them. Then lust itself consumed them both. 

The Drowning Cell

I woke up with my cheek against the cold, my mind was blurred and as my eyes looked around the space where I was. It seemed like it was crystal so i knocked on it and realized it was crystal, then kept on knocking, stretching my hand on the darkness knocking on the crystal as the clinging noise bounced inside the space and it was shortly replied by the echo, it wasn't such a big space.

Slowly I stretched out my arms and was able to touch something cold, I knock on it and after hearing the clinging again I realized it was glass, and it seemed that it was some sort of wall, i started knocking up, it was high. Then i started moving through it caressing the cold surface with my fingertips, after moving  for a while breathing that cold air my hand bumped with another wall and i kept turning and bumping with walls as i realized that it seemed to be a cell but there seemed to be no door.

When those ideas crossed my mind a rush of fear went down my spine and I fell down on my knees looking for a trap door, but nothing was to be found on the crystal floor. I got up and stretched my arms up to the celling trying to reach it, sweat drops were falling down my forehead. I was nervous and scared when i started jumping to reach the celling, but the efforts were unsuccessful all of them, it seemed that the celling was too far up high.

I pressed my back against the glass and backed down, when my legs finally were extended on the floor. It seemed like I wouldn't be able to get out of that place, everything was out, all my dreams and goals and wishes and yet, I couldn't got to reach them and as my mind was drifting on my wishes a small light materialized before my eyes, out side of the walls.

It seemed to be a candle of some sort dimming before me, I got up and walked towards it smashing my face against the glass. I went backwards and my back felt like a sac of flour on the ground, slowly I stood on my feet once more then pressed my face against the glass and looked at the small light.

Under the candle, poorly illuminated was the phrase "Abandon all hope", after reading it a sigh escaped my lungs however a soft sound took me back to where I was, it was a sound like water flowing, I turned my head back and when I moved my foot it sounded clearly. A soft splash and so the announcement, my box was getting filled by water.

The anxiety filled my body and I started moving back to the wall hearing the splashes of my feet against th water as i moved and went on knocking hard against the glass. After a few hits my hand ached and I felt down on the floor with my knees and hands against the glass, feeling my hands completely underwater then the phrase came back to my head, abandoning hope seemed quite the only thing to do now, the glass didn't seemed to give up and the water was rising quickly.

The cold of the room made my bones chilly, the water around me whispered that the end was here and the trapped area stood glorious as my tomb, it had been decided and I wasn't leaving the place. All hope shall be abandoned when the souls of the dead went into the underworld and so mine hope should be gone. The message was pretty clear, it was my end.

I closed my eyes and gave up on my dreams and my hopes and felt my body weak, tired of holding on. Then suddenly the despair started fading away giving room for peace, I was letting go, giving up on the fight, surrendering to fate.

Far away the voice of my teacher was clear: "When life spits you in the face, then is when you hold on to your goals, when everyone is against you, even your trusted and loved ones, then is when you hold on to your goals, and you keep hoping keeping the spark of hope alive within you and miracles will be made. There is no obstacle to him who has hope, because hope will move mountains and change the course of rivers. Keep hoping and nothing will be impossible."

I opened my eyes and saw the water on my elbows and realized, it was gonna be me abandoning all hopes to move ahead what would drown me down on this watery grave. I pulled a piece of fabric from my shirt and wrapped it around my left hand then the same to the right one. I looked at the glass and let out a punch making it vibrate.

I kept punching the glass which didn't really seemed to notice my efforts to pass through, punch after punch I delivered my blows on the icy surface feeling the water on my knees I hit the crystal harder shouting out in rage holding on to my desire to live and make my dreams come true, one blow after another my fist kept slamming itself against the intact glass, but I didn't backed off, my fists kept moving on delivering punches on the wall.

The water lever was on my hips and i wasn't very free to move from my hips and below, but my fists were working hitting the crystal barrier before me, blow after blow, one after the other my energy kept rising up as I fought against the glass for my freedom, one blow followed by an intense scream made the glass finally spit out a fragment of glass and before me was a crashed glass so I kept hitting it with the water on my chest my eyes could see the hope of the shattering glass, the crashed appearance was giving me hopes and a feeling of certainty that suddenly left when the water lever touched my chin.

I began to see my work as a waste of time, as a failure, and was ready to give up on everything, then I saw the crashed glass and gathered my courage, if it was my time to go I shall do so fighting, for life with hope and almost blindly I kept delivering punches against the glass one after the other the water made me slower but I kept hitting my eyes were shut and my heart pointed my blows on the direction to be, this could be the last stand and I was gonna held my head up high.

The water had completely submerged me, not even leaving my hair visible on the surface when finally a crashing sound following by a splash announced that the glass had finally shattered. My body was expelled of the crystal prison and pushed into the ground by the water in the cage. I coughed on the floor as my lungs were filled by air again and  raised my head and tilted it down to look at my bloody hands. Then I turned my head and looked back to the cube were I was held, the work had at last offered a reward. I was to live fully and enjoy life, every minute of it. Because Tomorrow happens when we create Today.

Magic

It was a rainy evening and the cold wind was blowing through the trees in the park, I walked through the benches and reached a little covered area with a table were I finally was able to take shelter from the increasing storm that was over me.

I crossed my arms over the cold stone table and rest my face there, I could feel the heat of my breath warming up my face as my eyes drifted into the darkness of my arms against the table, then slowly I began to notice the sound of the wind through the leaves, the sound of the grass moving close to my feet, further away the drops of the rain smashing against the sidewalk making small pools where the drops splashed lightly when they fell on it.

The next thing that happened it was me opening my eyes after what it seemed that I had fallen asleep, I looked up and there was a night dark gray sky, the rain was still pouring around me and out of nowhere a figure materialized before me.

It was a girl wearing a velvet dress and a hat, my mind started spinning. Where did she came from?! I started to wonder that probably she arrived while I was asleep, however when I got to cover the rain was already pouring down and she looked dry.

"Um, hi" I finally said.

"Oh ... hi!" She said back at me with a smile.

"Are you okay?" I managed to ask, to that she left a giggle and nodded, then I asked "How did you got here?"

After a quick giggle she said "With magic"

And that wasn't an answer I could just accept quietly, so my common sense send out a quick strike back after a laugh "Magic doesn't exist"

"Oh but it does" She said "It's just that people like you don't really understand it or think of it as something else, no wonder why you never actually see the magic" After saying that she left out a giggle.

Then I asked her what did she mean by that, she looked at me with her big blue eyes and said.

"Magic is something that exists, there are two kinds of people we can find in the magical world, those who believe in magic and those who don't believe in magic, simple as that. To those people who believe in magic, magic is real and it gives them a sense of security. Do not expect magic to materialize within the material realm, because it does not belong in here. That is usually the biggest problem, people want to see magic happen, how to fix a broken plate, how to bring someone back to life, but no, magic happens in a more um ... spiritual realm"

"Spiritual realm? So it means you can't really proof magic works" I replied

She giggled as if that was exactly the answer she expected and then continued.

"Magic does exist to those who believe in it, because magic is also something very personal, it can not be explained because magic is the unexplainable. When you want to be at some place and you wish for that hard enough and give your heart and soul into that wish, there is no HOW things will happen, there is just WHAT will happen, the rest you just trust it to magic, and when you do and you are willing to do ANYTHING to make your wish come true, then magic happens, because magic also can't manifest itself on your heart if you are not willing to do what you are asking for. If you are not prepared and ready to do something, no magic will be able to do it for you."

"Then what is magic good for?" I asked with triumphant feeling.

"Magic is not an ability to change the out world, is an ability to explain the out world to yourself and create a wonderful inner world for you where everything is right, a world were you can keep your emotions and feelings stabilized, that is what the act of magic is, that is why you can't see magic without love, that is also why determination is the key to make magic happen." Her eyes were like stakes going through mine.

That answer had left me stunned, it was clear, direct even if it was quite a personal and not able to be proven right, that reply had got in my head, I looked down to the table. Then when I looked up. I was alone.

Was that a dream? Had that conversation really taken place? There so many questions in my head but when I got up from my seat there was something of what I was pretty sure, magic was deeper than what we thought of it, it was amazing and it really allowed us to make our existance better, it could turn the gray days to happy and colorful ones.

That night a learned a magic spell for happiness.

It is very simple.

The moment you wake up,  look up and thank the existence for allowing you to be awake, then go out with a SMILE on your face.

Sparkle Today

Days had been gray so far and life seemed to become tasteless, all the spark was lost and there was no spirit to move forward within me, nothing to be doing in life.

The air was heavy on my lungs, my eyes were tired, I was thirsty and no matter what I drank or how much i drank there just seemed there was no drink capable of satisfying my thirst. The weather all around me seemed to have stoped, there was no cold, no fresh breeze to feel, no hot days, it was just warm, a spectral fixed motionless warmth all around.

There were no scents near that were easy to catch, no sweet fragrances everything just seemed plain, a motionless paint were everything just stood there for the eye to watch it, yet despite the beauty captured within the photograph-worthy scene, it was just dull, there was no excitement and being there created a space within the soul that just wanted to make you run away from there to find a place where life was detectable once more.

The surreal environment made me feel that i was moving within a bubble of jelly, everything in slow motion, my stress and desperation was the only growing thing, and life suddenly seemed worthless and pointless to be cared for.

It seemed that there was no reason on holding hope for something better to come along, life didn't seemed to change, it was all the same story, and it looked like it would be like that always.

Then suddenly I got sick of it all and life put a puzzle before me, it all seemed different, exciting, life had a promise of excitement for me and as a challenge suddenly a spark burst within me, it was passion, my whole time was wrapped within those moments.

The air I breathe got lighter, it felt fresh to inhale it. The weather around me helped me to be calm when needed to be and to be active and excited when the time called for it, suddenly it seemed like the universe stand on its two feet and decided it was time to give life a spark and add some flavor to everyone's day.

Life was back into our time around and it became clear that it was worth to hold on to the life we had and to make a good mark with the time we had.

So remember to look up at your dreams and when you want to reach them, keep in mind that the road to get there is full of sparkles, the way to find happiness and a fullfilling life is going through the ups and downs with the head held high living life and enjoying the sparkles of passion, love, hope, fun and excitement that came along the way.